I was genuinely attempting National Novel Writing Month this year with a brand new idea involving a steampunk version of the Lohengrin legend. Then, a freak accident occurring exactly two weeks ago landed me in the Emergency Room with a broken ankle. I’ve gotten to wear a cam boot for the better part of two weeks and out of work. I gave up on Nano with the overwhelming depression coupled with the staggering feeling of being useless. I’ve spent the time idling away on Internet surfing, moping, and video games.
Meanwhile, I have my second story for my Creative Writing class due and I am hurriedly trying to finish it as well as trying to find a way to solve the initial problems. Though, this third attempt gave me two previous story ideas I might try at a later day. But it always fun to dapple in one’s own fantasy world, is it not?
The poetry I mentioned posting is at a standstill. I don’t have the energy or the will to format it properly. I’m feeling itchy and uncomfortable and annoyed but such is the way when I am in a rut.
My foot hurts me constantly and I just want to go back to work. But I fear that I won’t be able to for longer than expected.
But I’ve been writing, whatever little progress it is. On my main project, I’ve reached over 46,000 words which I realize isn’t much when you think to pass Nano you have to reach 50,000. But I am determined, as always.
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Close friends, family members, and the Boyfriend–especially the Boyfriend–know that I have a problem. I like to think myself as strong willed, determined, with a good head on my shoulders. But this good head on my shoulders has an off switch when it comes to books, particularly when a chance comes to acquire books.
I’m not sure how to explain it. I’m a sucker for those Sale bins at stores and book stores alike that hold nothing but the books nobody liked for a few dollars. MUST BUY TWO. Used books at Hastings… for a dollar with the purchase of one other book? SEVEN. My school particularly likes putting unwanted textbooks on a table with a sign reading, “Free.” Mostly textbooks about college help for reading and writing, a few on applied calculus, and some poetry pamphlets. I know I took at least twenty.
This. . . habit is also inclusive to the digital world. When I received my Kindle, my first course of action was to visit Amazon’s Kindle/ebook store and download every possible book that was free and sounded remotely interesting. It didn’t matter if I would never read a glossary on the insect world or certain fairy tales of the Sanskrit, this was a vast pool of information and fiction that I could own!
And that’s another problem I face. There is a large percentage of books that I pinch that I do intend to read. Books that like to stack themselves into large piles in my room and trip unsuspecting passersby. However, I lack a certain will to read. Starting my senior year of high school, I just haven’t read that much, which is a real shame because I enjoy reading. The process has become similar to writing. My exhausting life has left little to no time or energy to pursue such interests. So often, I am forced between reading or writing. And it’s hard to find time to do that between working, sleeping, schooling, studying, laundry, eating, driving, sleeping again, napping. I’m forced to choose and unfortunately, the essentials of life get in the way.
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